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How to Change Behaviour Patterns with Recycling

Recycling refers to the action or process of converting waste into reusable material. What was once a plastic bottle is now a backpack. A metal can has become a car part. In the same sense, the Hoffman Recycling tool is a process of converting a negative behavioural pattern into a healthy behaviour aligned with our spirit. Even more, it’s the act of transforming an unconscious reaction into a conscious response.

Read on to find out how to practise this powerful tool and why it’s an important component to the Hoffman Process.

What Is Recycling?

Recycling is a Hoffman Process tool that combines mindfulness, visualisation, NLP, physiological state changes, and even intuition. It is the fourth step in the cycle of transformation, which consists of the following:

  1. Awareness: Awareness of behavioural patterns
  2. Expression: Creating distance from negative patterns through emotional expressive work (e.g. “I am not my patterns.”)
  3. Compassion & Forgiveness: Cultivating compassion for the children our parents once were by attuning ourselves to their suffering and letting go intergenerational pain
  4. New Behaviour: Making behavioural changes through tools like recycling

As famed Austrian psychiatrist Viktor Frankl reportedly said “ Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” The first three steps of the cycle of transformation sets us up to be able to widen that space. Recycling allows us to become attuned to our intrinsic values and offers us a way forward when we are triggered in our life. It is a mindful centering to engage with oneself and others in a new behavioural manner informed by the values of our heart centre. Recycling is not ‘positive thinking.’  It only works because of the experiential work done beforehand.

How to Use Recycling to Change Negative Behaviour Patterns

To utilise the recycling tool, you must first become aware that you are stuck in a pattern, mood, or belief system that you want to change. This awareness represents the space that Frankl described. Here’s how you use recycling to change behaviour patterns:

Step 1: Identify the Pattern and Scene

  • Close your eyes.
  • Take a deep breath and breathe in the intention of connecting to your true self.
  • Think of a pattern that you want to recycle.
  • Recall a recent situation where that pattern was active in you (or maybe the situation is currently active in you).
  • Whether the situation happened long ago, or it happened moments ago, visualize the scene in your mind as if you are watching a movie.Re-experience the situation, including how you felt in your body, what happened to your energy, and how the people around you are impacted by this energy
  • Become conscious of your desire to be free of this pattern.

Step 2: Trace the Pattern

  • Take a moment to recall how you learned this pattern. Who had this pattern in your childhood? Did you duplicate this pattern, or did you develop it in response to Mum, Dad, or another caregiver?

Step 3: De-Energise and Transform

  • Tune in to how this pattern lives in your b Does it create a particular posture or tension?Are your shoulders slumped? Is your belly tight? Take on the shape of this pattern.
  • Now exaggerate the shape. Amplify its intensity and sense its burden. Place your hands on your body where you feel the energy of this pattern most intensely. Keep them there.
  • Take a deep breath and allow the energy of the pattern to move into your hands.
  • Then put your hands together out in front of you as you hold the pattern between your palms.
  • Vigorously rub your hands together, gradually increasing speed so you build energy and heat between your palms. This is the energy and heat of your pattern being transformed.
  • When you stop, pull your hands apart and allow yourself to see something that represents the positive alternative behaviour between your hands. Allow it to exist in whatever form that takes—a sentence, a colour, a shape, or even a luminous energy. Accept it without judgement.
  • If nothing shows up, ask your spiritual self directly what they would do in this situation.
  • Now, take whatever appeared between your hands up above your head and, with your eyes closed, as if your body is transparent, gently start to draw this new object, phrase, or energy down through your head, through your torso, and all the way down to your feet. Allow the energy of the new behaviour to transform the pattern in your body.

Step 4: Embody New Behaviour

  • Notice how you feel. What are the sensations? Allow this energy to expand within you with each breath.
  • As you breathe, shift your body to reflect this new way of being. Take on the posture and fully embody the presence and aliveness of your spiritual s
  • Now, in your mind’s eye, return to the original situation where the pattern was active and experience yourself moving through the scene from this new way of being.
  • Notice how the sensations in your body have changed and how this changes the scenario. Your breathing may be deeper, or you may simply feel more relaxed as positive energy has transformed the experience in your body. This will become the new positive alternative behaviour used to face this and similar situations.
  • In your own time, gently open your eyes and become present to your surroundings. Look around and feel yourself as more alert and connected to your new way of being.

Why Recycling Works

Recycling does not focus on what you do, but how you do what you do. The practice facilitates an actual state shift, in which “stuckness” melts away into a sense of relaxation as you embrace the contraction of the pattern and then consciously let it go.

To become aware of this contraction, you must consider how the pattern feels in your body. For instance, when you are stuck in state of criticising others, you likely have a frown on your face or feel a tightness in your shoulders. When you are scared, you may feel a tangle in your stomach, or a constriction in your throat. As you learn to shift out of these contractions, your physiology will also shift. This produces a positive feedback loop to your environment (e.g. if I change from being critical to being interested and inquiring, my energy will shift and others will pick up on this).

Recycling also helps to change your brain thanks to neuroplasticity. Research has shown us that the brain is not a predetermined or unchanging organ. Rather, it is an organ of adaptation; it adapts to the demands of its environment. Whatever you repeatedly sense and feel and want and think will slowly sculpt the neural structure.

How to Integrate Recycling into Your Life

Most people who learn the recycling tool at the Hoffman Process will practice it organically as a result of finding a deeper level of self-worth. They will have witnessed the value of spending some time with themselves daily. They will also know some patterns are stubborn and need time to transform. As they have become more aware of their own negative patterns and triggers, they will become more skilled in catching themselves in the midst of a reaction and making a choice to respond differently.

How Often You Should Recycle

Use recycling whenever you feel triggered and want to create an inner space to stop the reaction. Creating this space will allow you to be able to engage with your inner wisdom and respond in a healthier manner. You can do this multiple times a day or even less until the new behaviour sticks. Each time the new alternative is engaged, it will start to de-energise the old unwanted behaviour. After a while, you will no longer be activated by the trigger and no longer need the tool. But you can always turn to it in times of need.

Find out more about recycling and other tools by signing up for Hoffman Process or strengthen the skills you learned at the Process at the upcoming Retreat for graduates.

This article was contributed by Erica Garza. Follow @ericadgarza on Instagram

References:

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Healing Trauma as a Parent

Parents and caregivers are a child’s first role models and their most important teachers. But when a parent is carrying around unresolved childhood trauma, it is likely this trauma will be unintentionally passed down to the next generation.

The Hoffman Process is not known as a “parenting course,” though it can be. Participants have a chance to:

  • confront the negative patterns in their lives
  • address childhood trauma
  • learn how their conditioning has affected all aspects of their lives, including how they parent

From this place of new understanding, parents realize that they do not have to react to their children the way their parents reacted to them. They can consciously choose how to respond with the empathy we all deserve. In embracing their own inner child, often for the first time, they learn how to fully embrace their own child without fear or a need to control.

If you are a parent considering participating in the Hoffman Process, here’s how the experience can help you learn how to be a better parent:

Be a source of unconditional love

If you were raised by parents who awarded obedience and achievement, you may have learned that love was conditional. To attain love, you had to attain approval. As a result, your children may have inadvertently adopted the pattern of approval-seeking. To set them free, you must dismantle this pattern in your own life and show them they are free to pursue their own interests, stand up for what they believe, and live authentically without fear of losing your love.

Model emotional regulation

In a supportive group setting, facilitators help participants zoom out to see their triggers, identify their emotions, and learn to self-regulate. Through guided visualizations, participants make conscious contact with their unconscious mental processes to gain access to their true feelings and speak these feeling aloud. Not only will this help you be more in touch with your own emotions, but it will also help you more emotionally tuned to your children.

Be open to learning

If you notice that your parenting style a merely a reflection of the way you were parented or an emotional response to the way you were parented, you can try a new way. Without the rules of the past holding you back, you are free to explore new parenting styles, consult experts, and collaborate with your partner without judgement. The Hoffman Process teaches that all patterns can be released and adopting a learning mindset will help you cultivate a new path of your choosing.

Be more present

The Hoffman Process allows participants to examine mortality from a place of openness and acceptance. As we accept that our time on the planet is finite, we have a chance to reevaluate our priorities. If your life feels unbalanced with too much emphasis on career or achievement, you can make a shift to create more time and space for family, health, and the things that bring you joy. You may not have had the ideal parent as a child, but there’s still time to become the parent you hope to be.

Find out more about how the Hoffman Process can help you release patterns and connect more fully with others.

This article was contributed by Erica Garza. Follow @ericadgarza on Instagram

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Individual Therapy vs Group Therapy and How Hoffman Differs

For those who are interested in personal development, individual therapy and various types of group work are feasible options, but each route comes with its own set of benefits and drawbacks. While some people may find the privacy and one-on-one interaction of individual work to be alluring, group work can help them feel more connected with others, especially if they’ve been feeling isolated.

There are various types of group work, from group counselling sessions for family members going through a crisis to self-discovery retreats. The Hoffman Process offers a unique format: individual work in a group setting. To help you decide if this format might work for you, we’ll explore the advantages of individual therapy vs. group work, dive into the types of group work that exist, and show you how the Hoffman Process combines both.

Individual Therapy vs. Group Work

There are many reasons people decide to engage in inner work, whether they are aiming to improve some aspect of themselves or make it through a crisis. For people who did not get as much attention or activation from caregivers or other one-on-one relationships, individual work with a therapist or coach can be particularly helpful. In the private setting, they are allowed to develop self-awareness by discussing personal issues and getting tailored feedback from another person.

One of the most daunting things about group work for some people might be the social aspect. After all, research suggests that almost 11 percent of the Australian population experiences social anxiety during their lifetime. The idea of working through delicate issues with strangers may induce feelings of fear or anxiety, but the social component can actually be the most healing aspect. By hearing that other people are suffering, sometimes in similar ways, a person engaging in group work can feel less alone in their pain and more understood. In this sense, group work can be a great equalizer, even if members of the group come from drastically different walks of life.

Benefits of Individual Work

  • Confidentiality
  • One-on-one attention from therapist or coach
  • Flexible scheduling

Drawbacks of Individual Work

  • One perspective
  • Completely dependent on the experience of the therapist
  • Removed from the social context where a participant can be triggered

Benefits of Group Work

  • Identifying with the experiences of others
  • Multiple perspectives
  • Corrective experiences for social emotional trauma
  • Opportunity to work on transferences, such as expresssing and tolerating strong emotions triggered by others
  • The approach allows therapists to observe relational patterns

Drawbacks of Group Work

  • Social aspect can be intimidating for some
  • Divided attention from facilitators (except for scheduled one-on-one time in some formats)

Types of Group Work

One of the earliest examples of group therapy was in the early 1900’s with Dr. John Pratt, an American physician in the Boston area who ran group sessions with tuberculosis patients. Pratt found that the patients benefited emotionally due to the support they received from others in shared experiences. Group therapy accelerated following World War II when groups of combat veterans were treated together.

Despite this fairly recent history, the importance of peer support has been known through the ages and group support has even been linked to longevity. Consider the Okinawa people of Japan, who are known for living long, healthy lives. One of their longevity traditions is called moai, a term which refers to social support groups that begin in childhood and extend to advanced age. Originally, moais were established to gather resources from a whole village for projects or public works. Today, the concept has grown to become more of a social support network, a cultural tradition for built-in comradeship.

These days, there are a variety of options for group work. These include:

Support Groups
Support groups involve regular meetings where people experiencing similar problems, such addictions or crises, come together to talk candidly with each other and offer support.

Family Counselling
Family counselling is designed to address specific issues that affect the mental health of the family, resolve challenging issues, or improve communication skills across members.

Personal Growth Retreats
With a focus on personal development and growth, these retreats vary widely in structure, overall aim, and the tools and techniques involved. From mindfulness workshops with meditation teachers to mental health retreats with trained psychotherapists, the range is extensive. The Hoffman Process is a type of personal growth retreat, which focuses on unlearning negative patterns of thought and behaviour.

How the Hoffman Process Differs from Individual & Group Therapy

The Hoffman Process is unique because it is a type of individual work done in a group setting. Throughout the 7-day residential experience, the Process affords people an enormous amount of privacy because it allows participants to share with the large group only when they feel comfortable. And while there are group-driven activities, each participant also works with a facilitator who can give them one-on-one attention and guidance. In the more expressive pieces of the Process, the facilitators help participants go beyond the way certain emotions were allowed to be expressed within the context of their families. By expressing anger, grief or even joy in a new and more authentic way in this new group, the Process can be a corrective experience.

Group work in the Process can also solidify a person’s sense of belonging. When a participant reveals their toxic shame beliefs to the group and the group doesn’t reject them, they realize they’re still worthy of belonging. While they might reveal these same toxic shame beliefs in the presence of a therapist, and receive a positive reflection, there’s always a chance that their inner saboteur may doubt the therapist. They’ll think, “Of course they have to say this because I’ve paid money,” but hearing these positive reflections from the group breaks through this self-sabotage. The participant also gains a new and surprising belief in this process: that people actually feel closer to them because of their vulnerability in sharing these toxic beliefs.

After the Hoffman Process, participants do have the opportunity to work one-on-one with a Hoffman facilitator as well as opportunities to work with the larger network of Hoffman graduates. To learn more about how the Hoffman Process works, read What is the Hoffman Process.

This article was contributed by by Erica Garza. Follow @ericadgarza on Instagram

References
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/anxiety/types-of-anxiety/social-phobia
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2004-21655-001
https://americanaddictioncenters.org/therapy-treatment/group-individual
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/article/uncover-the-secrets-of-longevity-in-this-japanese-village

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Love is a Verb: How to Stay Open to Love

A recent survey by Relationships Australia found that 42 percent of respondents reported a negative change in their relationship with their partner since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. Facing illness, lockdowns, homeschooling, and other unexpected shifts in routine, many couples found themselves at a loss for how to maintain intimacy or recover it when life started to run smoothly again.

According to Chris Kraft, Ph.D., a psychologist and expert in relationships and sexuality, “Couples who were in a good place before COVID-19 [were likely to] have an easier time withstanding the stress of the pandemic.” However, he also noted that even partners who were struggling before the stay-home mandates began were encouraged to use the time to work through some of their problems.

While the future is looking more positive at the moment, none of us can predict the challenges of tomorrow. What we can do is invest in our relationships today to build a strong foundation that can withstand external forces. Staying open to love and intimacy is just as important during challenging times as it is during times of minimal stress. Whether you are in a long-term partnership or a new one, here are some things you can do to keep your relationship strong no matter what the future holds.

Acknowledge Your Needs

Maybe you learned from your parents and caregivers that your needs were unimportant. Maybe you learned it was easier to go with the flow. Wherever you learned to deny your own needs, your relationship is bound to suffer as a result. You’ll end up expecting your partner to meet these needs even though they’ve never been outwardly expressed.

While you may fear appearing “needy,” by voicing your needs to your partner, you run the risk of appearing needy anyway by finding subtle and sneaky ways to get your needs met or you may become totally detached from your partner. While acknowledging your needs is an important step in strengthening your intimacy with your partner, being able to voice your needs is a crucial next step.

Establish Your Negotiable and Non-Negotiable Agreements

Every relationship is different and what may be a dealbreaker in your relationship may be permissible in another. Set aside some time with your partner to establish your negotiable and non-negotiable agreements. Non-negotiable agreements refer to things you can’t tolerate in order to stay in the relationship. It’s paramount that both partners carefully consider if they’re willing to follow through or not willing to follow before they agree to a non-negotiable. Keep in mind that non-negotiable agreements may evolve over time and may, in fact, become open to negotiation. However, re-establishing the agreements requires both partners to commit to an open and considerate conversation.

Learn How to “Fight Right”

Love involves tough conversations. If your wants or needs are not being met, it is crucial that you find ways to express this to your partner to avoid building a resentment. Hoffman Director Volker Krohn offers these five tips when approaching a difficult conversation:

  1. Go to a place of vulnerability
  2. Get clear about what you want or need
  3. Make sure your request is not a demand
  4. Choose a time and place for the conversation that is free of distractions
  5. Sandwich your request with positive statements

Also be careful that you don’t drudge up the past or build a case against your partner. This points to an underlying problem with forgiveness and diverts the focus from the current situation.

Become Aware of Patterns and Triggers

In childhood you may have learned to reproduce the behaviors of your parents or caregivers—the positive and the negative—to earn their approval, attention, and love. In the Hoffman Process, we call this adoption of behaviors the “Negative Love Syndrome.” From shutting down in the face of conflict to lying or withholding your affection, there are number of ways the Negative Love Syndrome can affect your current relationship and taking inventory is a powerful way to start taking back control.

You may also notice that relationships are full of emotional triggers. Instead of always blaming your partner for provoking an undesirable reaction in you, make an effort to take full responsibility for your emotional reactions. When you blame another person, you hand your power over to them, allowing your inner world to be swayed by external input. Reclaim your power by noticing the trigger when it comes up and making room for the feeling it provokes.

Make Time for Fun and Play

According to Plato, “You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.” It’s true — research suggests that couples who play together feel closer, experience more positive emotions, and as a result are happier together. No matter what the circumstances are beyond your front door, there’s always a way to make time for fun and play in your relationship.

Whether it’s taking a simple drive together or carving out time for a special dinner, finding undistracted time to spend with your partner can have a lasting impact on your satisfaction levels.

Expand Your Support System

A recent study out of the University of Texas at Austin found that a reliable and strong social network can not only save your relationships, but positively affect your health. When you expect your relationship to give you everything, you put enormous pressure on your partner. By expanding your social support system and staying open to love in all its forms, such as friendships, you and your partner are more likely to be happier and healthier in the long run. It is similarly important to keep growing as an individual and to practice self-care instead of solely depending on your partner for your happiness. The result is a mature relationship in which both partners feel closely connected while still maintaining a powerful sense of individuality and independence.

This article was contributed by by Erica Garza. Follow @ericadgarza on Instagram

References

https://www.relationships.org.au/news/blog/covid-19-and-supporting-healthy-relationships-in-australia
https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/coronavirus/keep-healthy-relationship-during-pandemic
https://berkeleysciencereview.com/2012/01/couples-who-play-together-stay-together/
https://www.thehealthy.com/family/relationships/friends-improve-relationships/

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Blake Mycoskie Talks about Hoffman and Other Game-Changing Experiences

Blake Mycoskie is a serial entrepreneur, philanthropist, and best-selling author, most known for founding TOMS Shoes. He is also the person behind the idea of One for One®, a business model that helps a person in need with every product purchased. Since its inception, TOMS Shoes has provided almost 96 million pairs of shoes to children around the globe.

Blake’s interview on The Tim Ferris Show is both inspiring and informative as he discusses his take on what the Hoffman Process is and how his life changed after Hoffman, from feeling lighter to becoming a better parent and spouse and a better leader.

The Hoffman Process – “…there’s probably 3-4 experiences or practices that I’ve taken on in my life that have by far had the greatest impact in a positive way and I love to start with the Hoffman Process because it is at the top of the list.”

Listen now

Blake speaks candidly about hardwired “embarrassing” patterns learnt in childhood which he has overcome through doing the Hoffman Process.

When asked about about the difficult stage in life he was going through when he did Hoffman, Blake explained …”selling half of TOMS and stepping down and hiring a CEO, and became a father for the first time… was incredibly challenging because all of those things were the things I had been told by my parents and society and culture, would make me happy….. And so once I realised that I had accomplished everything I set out to do, and I was still waking up feeling very challenged, not motivated, not feeling like I had a purpose, low energy levels, having trouble sleeping which ultimately led to being diagnosed for the first time in my life with mild depression, ….I had an inclination that the external would never be the thing that would allow me to feel what I had been seeking. And so that began; it started with Hoffman”. Blake goes on to discuss other game-changing experiences and offers inspiring insight into looking inward in pursuit of living a life with meaning.

Follow Blake on Instagram @BlakeMycoskie

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Rock Your Sparkle with Kerri Chinner

Everything is energy & that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want & you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy, this is physics.
Albert Einstein

How often do you let your Spiritual Self out to play? How often do you truly live from this part of you?
Or do you just give lip service to the fact that you have a Spiritual Self and still go about your day being led by your Intellect and Emotions?

Your Spiritual Self lives outside of time, and is already everything you desire to be. That version of you is living FREE of any challenges you are experiencing now, is ALREADY on the other side of any pain, drama, upset, challenge that is currently showing up.

What if you truly believed in the existence of this version of you? How would this call you to be in your everyday moments? Who would you be BE-ing? What would you be DO-ing? How would you be FEEL-ing? The frequencies of the answers to these questions is what will determine what shows up for you, your reality. It will move your from your Left Rd of fear, pushing, striving, efforting, victim, persecutor, rescuer to the Right Rd of co-creation with Existence. You become the Master of your destiny. Your vibration becomes your creation. Your Frequency becomes
your currency.

I remember when I was writing my coaching and mentoring program OWN YOUR EDGE… I knew what I wanted to include in the program, I had the skeleton of that very
clear, had written module 1 and yet I was completely stuck. Yes, I recognised the patterns that had surfaced with a vengence – and recycled – and yet, I every time I sat down to write – still nothing came out.

I would go to bed every night, asking my Guides, praying to my Spiritual Self, show me what to write, help me get clear – talk about trying to solve a problem at the level at which it had been created!! Einstein made this very clear that this is NOT the way to create change.

So one night, I went to bed and instead of asking for help, I said a prayer of gratitude… thank you, thank you, thank you for this opportunity to teach and share what I love and
so believe in. Thank you for the magic that is this program, Thank you for all the amazing souls who come into my life to be awakened and remember who they are. Now please take me to the place in time where module 2 is already done! Show me, show me, show me.

About 2am, I sat bolt upright in bed, got out my journal and wrote and wrote and wrote. the words just poured out of me. I wrote the entire module 2 with so much grace, ease and flow and I went “of course” – this is what my whole program is about, and yet I wasn’t putting into practice what I was teaching!!!

I share this with you because I want to remind you that when you play in the Quantum Field of Infinite Possibilities and align with your Spiritual Self, ‘magic’ does happen! Yes, I could have continued working my patterns through by journaling, recycling, even therapy and yes, absolutely, it would have made an enormous difference. However, working our issues at the level at which they have been created can become a longer more drawn out exercise.

By stepping out of that level of 3D, working the story, and stepping into a new paradigm (5D) of it already being done, I was able to achieve my end goal with more grace and ease than ever imagined. THIS is the power of your Spiritual Self, your Essence. This is the power of expanding on the question “what would my spiritual Self do?” and truly EMBODYING the highest version of you, in the NOW. This is how you collapse time. this is how you magnetise your destiny to you. No longer are you swimming around in the primordial soup of 3D human story, but you are claiming your birthright to live from your DIVINE Essence,

You are Divinity masquerading as …..(insert YOUR name)….. this lifetime! Re-member that! Your greatness and brilliance is unrivaled. When you feel trapped by the constraints of life’s challenges, know that there is a way forward. Does it mean that life will become easy? Does it mean you don’t have to do the inner work and can just abdicate it to ‘fluffy positive thinking? Hell no!!

Life will still do what it does, challenges will show up, not as problems but as opportunities for you to release the low vibe energetic imprints (patterns) in your field so you can become a divine high vibe transmission of light. We are evolving from Homo Sapien into Homo Luminous – and we all are here on the planet at this point in time to do our part.

Your presence makes THE WORLD of difference
Rock Your Sparkle!
I love you, Kerri xox

To find out more about Kerri’s work, go to www.ownyouredge.biz and Join Kerry on Facebook

What’s Next?

There a few things you can do to find out if the Process is for you:
• Take our “Is the Process for me?” self-assessment test to learn if the Process if right for you
• Read our Frequently Asked Questions for more information
• Read what our Graduates have to say about their experience before and after doing the Process
• Take advantage of this great offer and book a free 1 hour consultation with one of our professional therapists

Related Articles on our website

Advocate for men’s mental health, GQ Editor Dylan Jones raises awareness on men’s plight with mental health issues in his candid account of his personal experience of the Hoffman Process
Katy Perry talks to Vogue Magazine about her Hoffman Process experience
Dr Joan Borysenko discusses the Benefits of the Hoffman Process, the limbic brain system connection and the scientific study by the University of California
Dr. J.W. Wilson, Executive Director of the Advanced Learning Institute, Canada discusses how the Hoffman Process creates positive long-lasting changes in brain structure