Parents and caregivers are a child’s first role models and their most important teachers. But when a parent is carrying around unresolved childhood trauma, it is likely this trauma will be unintentionally passed down to the next generation.
The Hoffman Process is not known as a “parenting course,” though it can be. Participants have a chance to:
- confront the negative patterns in their lives
- address childhood trauma
- learn how their conditioning has affected all aspects of their lives, including how they parent
From this place of new understanding, parents realize that they do not have to react to their children the way their parents reacted to them. They can consciously choose how to respond with the empathy we all deserve. In embracing their own inner child, often for the first time, they learn how to fully embrace their own child without fear or a need to control.
If you are a parent considering participating in the Hoffman Process, here’s how the experience can help you learn how to be a better parent:
Be a source of unconditional love
If you were raised by parents who awarded obedience and achievement, you may have learned that love was conditional. To attain love, you had to attain approval. As a result, your children may have inadvertently adopted the pattern of approval-seeking. To set them free, you must dismantle this pattern in your own life and show them they are free to pursue their own interests, stand up for what they believe, and live authentically without fear of losing your love.
Model emotional regulation
In a supportive group setting, facilitators help participants zoom out to see their triggers, identify their emotions, and learn to self-regulate. Through guided visualizations, participants make conscious contact with their unconscious mental processes to gain access to their true feelings and speak these feeling aloud. Not only will this help you be more in touch with your own emotions, but it will also help you more emotionally tuned to your children.
Be open to learning
If you notice that your parenting style a merely a reflection of the way you were parented or an emotional response to the way you were parented, you can try a new way. Without the rules of the past holding you back, you are free to explore new parenting styles, consult experts, and collaborate with your partner without judgement. The Hoffman Process teaches that all patterns can be released and adopting a learning mindset will help you cultivate a new path of your choosing.
Be more present
The Hoffman Process allows participants to examine mortality from a place of openness and acceptance. As we accept that our time on the planet is finite, we have a chance to reevaluate our priorities. If your life feels unbalanced with too much emphasis on career or achievement, you can make a shift to create more time and space for family, health, and the things that bring you joy. You may not have had the ideal parent as a child, but there’s still time to become the parent you hope to be.
Find out more about how the Hoffman Process can help you release patterns and connect more fully with others.
This article was contributed by Erica Garza. Follow @ericadgarza on Instagram