“In my many interactions with people in my many travels and trainings, I noticed a great desire for change in myself and many fellow travellers. This inspired me to learn more, practise more and create more….more opportunities to make change easier and more accessible for anyone who wants to.”
Amanda Ahern, Hoffman Process Senior Facilitator.
When Annie, our latest wonderful team member and Newsletter coordinator asked me to write a BLOG for Hoffman Process monthly newsletter, I immediately thought about RECYCLING….especially as it’s my favorite part of the Process where the Cycle of Transformation swings into action with new behaviour.
New behaviour doesn’t mean that you have to reject the old parts of yourself in order to forge a new path in your life. In fact just the opposite is true.
When you come to the point of deciding that you have had enough of
1. an old behaviour that doesn’t work anymore
2. a compulsive pattern that leads to self destructive outcomes
3. or you really want to open up to some new way of being with yourself and others
4. or perhaps you are in need of a perceptual shift to get out of rut you are in
then Recycling is the perfect tool to use.
Want to know a secret? I hate the word ‘Tool’…. To me it implies hard labour, hammering away and sweating a lot, getting blisters and a bad back!
But I do find that when I enjoy playing with and practicing techniques that make me feel good then I want to keep on doing it. Riding on the profound work your Process, the starting point to deep and lasting behavioral change post process is ‘self compassion’.
“the key to happiness is understanding that suffering is caused by resisting pain.”
Kristin Neff, one of the greatest proponents of self compassion
The way to get out of pain is to accept that your compulsive pattern is causing yourself and…. therefore others… pain. Unfortunately, our first impulse when we feel pain is to move away from it. But actually to be able to turn those pesky patterns around, the ones causing the pain we are in…we need to feel the pain it is causing …..and to dig a little deeper and feel the underlying canker that is driving the behaviour…..counterintuitive right?
When you are able to stop and feel it… you are treating yourself with compassion and are already on the path of Recycling…
The next step is to appreciate yourself for having the courage to look at yourself and actually feel the pain, and see the consequences of the particular behaviour not only for yourself, but others in your life. That means you are taking a very high level of responsibility for yourself and what you are generating in your life.
And let’s face it, isn’t it so much kinder and generous to treat yourself in this way? It takes a lot less energy than staying in the pattern and dealing with the stress, drama and fallout of compulsive patterned behaviour.
If you can go straight to compassion and understanding, without condemnation, for yourself first, then others in your life who may be casualties of the drama, then the driving force of whatever has held you in its’ thrall will dissipate significantly.
Even as I sit at my desk writing this BLOG I feel calmer and more open just thinking about people generating more kindness and compassion in their lives. Just that thought has caused my body to want to open up and inhale more deeply…to let in more of that life.
Whenever you feel agitated or in the grip of something just remember to pause, take a deep breath, turn and face that discomfort, the pain, the sheer annoying torture of whatever it is that’s bothering you and meet it with tenderness and kindness…. then it will begin to change.
When you refuse to be in an adversarial relationship with yourself about anything at all then actually that is real Recycling… all day everyday…
The challenge is to sustain that state of being in love with who and what you really are, which is to remember you are of the Light, and all parts of you are in the Light. You are LOVE. You are LOVING. And yes you are LOVABLE.
To learn more about Bob’s work, the theoretical underpinnings of the Hoffman Process, please read The Negative Love Syndrome and the Quadrinity Model© A Path to Personal Freedom and Love, by Bob Hoffman. Free download available here
There a few things you can do to find out if the Process is for you:
• Take our “Is the Process for me?” self-assessment test to learn if the Process if right for you
• Read our Frequently Asked Questions for more information
• Read what our Graduates have to say about their experience before and after doing the Process
• Take advantage of this great offer and book a free 1 hour consultation with one of our professional therapists
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Dr Joan Borysenko discusses the Benefits of the Hoffman Process, the limbic brain system connection and the scientific study by the University of California
Dr. J.W. Wilson, Executive Director of the Advanced Learning Institute, Canada discusses how the Hoffman Process creates positive long-lasting changes in brain structure